If you have questions about being abused at school by your peers, ask them here. Kat and Raina will handle your questions no matter how many there are, and each one will get a personal answer.
If you have a concern or question, comment below and it will be answered soon!
Dear Kat and Raina,
ReplyDeleteThere is this new girl who I was nice to and tried to be friends with, but after she finds our who all me friends are, she spreads mean rumors about me to them, and tells them that I am telling everyone mean lies about them, what should I do?
Dear Lorelei,
DeleteFirst of all, that is a beautiful name! Be proud! Now... sorry. Let's get back on topic. This girl is insecure. That's all there is to it. She feels bad about herself and takes it out on others to make herself feel powerful and better. But just like drugs, this high is temporary. She will feel bad later.
You need to stand up to her. How? Tell her you want her to stop, when you want her to stop, and WHAT EXACTLY you want her to stop. Don't just say, "stop," because she will be confused and will probably think of you as too scared and weak to state your thoughts. Say, "Lauren, I want you to stop spreading rumors about me and my friends, and I want you to stop now." It too important to be specific.
If this doesn't work, get the authorities like the school counselor and a teacher involved. They can take it from here. Just remember that it was in no way your fault. Don't feel bad for telling her off. She was asking for it if she bullies a strong, beautiful girl like you.
Best wishes, Kat
Thanks Kat, your advice is amazing, but I've already tried telling her to stop nicely, but she just got all sad and said "How could you accuse me of that? All I have ever been is nice to you!" And then she stormed off, when I tried telling my parents they just said "Some people are really mean in the world, you have to get used to it." Thanks for trying to help,
DeleteLorelei (And thank you, I like my name too)
Lorelei,
DeleteWhat exactly did you say? If you accused her of doing something, like saying, "Why are you spreading rumors?", then she might get defensive, and maybe her defense mechanism is getting sad and giving you a guilt trip. So, instead of being the prosecutor, be logical like a lawyer. Say EXACTLY THESE WORDS (you can substitute her name in for Lauren), "Lauren, I want you to stop spreading these rumors. They're hurting me and they're hurting you. Think about it." This will catch her, hopefully. If all else fails, get the counselor involved, ask her to see this girl, and have them talk it out.
Love, Kat